Way to go ...

Do you own a car? Can I ask you why?

I ditched mine last year. Gave up on paying coupla hundred bucks a month on insurance, anywhere from three hundred to five hundred a month on gas, and between hundred to two hundred dollars in parking charges, and say around a hundred bucks a month either budgeting or paying for maintenance, oil changes, brake liner replacements etc ... and if you really want to do the math, depreciating about six hundred bucks a month, every month over five years on the lease/purchase price ...

So whichever way you add it up ... you'd end up with a minimum bill of at least a thousand bucks every month if you own a car right?

Contrast that with what I pay every month ... okay last month I spend all of 150$. That's with driving to work a few times a week, shopping for groceries at least once a week, visiting with friends, going out for dinner, taking in a show, going for French classes twice a week et al ...

And that's without any of the hassles normally associated with driving. Parking? No problem. Guaranteed parking spots in the best parking lots anywhere around Toronto. Insurance zip zilch. Gas likewise nada or if you prefer hearing this in French rien.


But after paying all this money, you go for a weekend to Montreal. Or for a week in Berlin. Do you think you'd be able to use your car on these trips?

Right!!!

Whereas imagine owning a car in most every city. That's after paying zero dinero in membership fees. And either .38 cents a minute or 15$ an hour. or 70$ for the day. Everything included. yes I do mean everything. Gas, insurance, headache free driving. No matter where you are. And no worrying about returning cars where you picked them up from. You could pick it up in North York ... and drop it off in China Town. Or Vice Versa. And never have to pay a penny in parking if you'd want. And no worrying about mileage. Unlimited miles ...

You pay .38 cents a min or 15 bucks an hour. You can pick up the car where you like. And drop it off wherever you like. They have parking lots on most every street and they're pretty much de rigeur in those Green P parking lots you find all over the place. So finding a car or a place to park them is suddenly not a problem any more. They are ubiquitous. And the cars are small enough that you can compete with scooters for parking. And it comes with a built in GPS, cards for parking garages, and fuel cards for fuel, and it's using smartcars which are both environmentally friendly and fairly cool as well ...

Check out this company. It's called Car2Go and I've long since stopped using cabs to get from point A to B (this works pretty much all over downtown as well as a bit outside Toronto as well), stopped using Transit for short trips (this works out cheaper than the 3$ you'd pay a trip), and it's great for getting home

Yeah before you ask, I'm still a member of Zipcar, and also have Autoshare. And I still rent from my friend Ali at U-Rentals who gives me cars for 9 bucks a day plus taxes et all which adds up to 15$. So yeah I've done my fair share of checking out car share options. And I vote Car2Go as the way to er go :) Unless of course you want to showcase your bling in an Audi. Or a BMW. For 10$ an hour. Yeah then ZipCar looks like a sexy option. Or you need a moving van by the hour. Then AutoShare. They each have their tradeoffs and good points. But over all for me at least Car2Go wins

The reason I'm writing all this? I came out of my class tonight. Expected it to be the same pleasant evening that made me walk the half hour to class. But this is Toronto, and so in a couple of hours the sultry evening had turned into a blustery, shiver me timbers kind of night. Normally this would call for a cab. Or a train ride down to Christie pits and then a ten minute walk back to home. Or a couple of transfers via streetcars to get to my house.

Instead I walked two seconds to the parking garage next to Alliance Francaise. And then I got into a car there, and five mins later was outside the Green P half a block to the east of my house. Doorstep to doorstep in eight mins flat. For a total of 3$ and change ...

Yeah, this is how I roll these days. Time y'all started tripping this way or what?

Being at peace is a state of mind and body

Some notes from a recent expedition to the inner worlds of consciousness, where feelings are born and thoughts weave the tangled web of our perceptions. Yes folks I went to learn how to meditate at a center here in Ontario as I've been doing every few years in an attempt to learn how to purify my mind ... why? 

When the mind becomes quiet, the soul can express itself directly by filling your life with grace and clarity of purpose. Until then it lies chained in the depths of your consciousness, drowning in the sensory overload of your thoughts and feelings and cannot even begin to surface from this deluge to set you free ...

How does the mind become quiet? Well that's the purpose of meditation. You learn to witness your thoughts, your feelings without getting caught up in trying to control your experience. 

Sounds a bit difficult doesn't it. It is indeed very difficult but if you are seriously interested in discovering how to gain insight or as Buddha said "to awaken" you have to learn how to meditate. And this can only be learned by doing. Not by thinking about it, not by discussing it, not by imagining it but actually by doing it. What do we have to do you might ask ... well you have to learn to sit quietly, for ten days not talk to anybody else, and watch your thoughts wander as you try to focus in first on your breathing, and then later on the various sensations your body is experiencing second to second, moment to moment from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, slowly, carefully and attentively. This workshop gives you solid, detailed instructions as you go from session to session from Day 1 to Day 10 and it's a surprisingly liberating journey for those who take it seriously and follow the instructions diligently. But what's astonishing is that even for those who are not scrupulous in their observance of this act of witnessing their mind at work interpreting the various sensory inputs, it is still able to help them cleanse themselves of various psychosomatic issues such as migraines as has been reported by participants. But need I say that the motivation for learning meditation should not be constricted by narrow goals or we will end up remaining trapped in the realm of our shallower desires forgetting that our soul has deeper longings than wishing for an end to aches and pains, and it's these rooted values that form the core of our existence and it's this we need to get in touch with if we are to be liberated from our day to day confusion about what we really want or what we are really about ... well anyways felt that it would be the right thing to do to share what I managed to understand about this process of meditation and I have no hesitation in recommending this because the organization behind this is not a religious order, nor do they have any pecuniary considerations at all whatsoever. It's offered free to those who are interested and all they ask is that you work with them for the ten days you are there, sitting quietly and focusing on your breathing and your sensations, and in the evenings understand how this process begins to work to help you discover and release your automatic responses to things you crave or detest which form the basis of our negativized attitudes towards circumstances in general and situations in particular.

Because when you learn to be free of negativities you can then truly learn how to kindle love in your heart. Because when you plant these seeds of love, it is not just you who blossoms but everyone that's interacting with you. The whole world is lit up when even one of us become fully awakened, fully enlightened. Because as you practice meditation you will also discover that deep down all of us share the same consciousness. We are in the process of becoming who we are as individuals, inevitably fragmented into so many different aspects of this consciousness we lose sight of our deepest desire .. to come back together as one again, enlightened, grown through our challenges to a state of higher being. We don´t know who we really are, or what aspects of ourselves we should identify with or believe in as we learn to deal with the world in gross terms, such as careers, material milestones that can serve to help us measure us against everybody else etc. So many contradictory voices, dictates, and feelings fight for control over our inner lives that we find ourselves scattered everywhere, in all directions, leaving nobody at home.

Meditation, then, is bringing the mind home. 

As T.S. Elliot once said "We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."

If you're interested in learning meditation you can go to the following website to inform yourself and/or to register for a ten day course.

http://www.dhamma.org

What is love? Actually!

Physics, chemistry ... or alchemy of the highest order?

Is it that magic combustion that happens when you meet the *right* person? That fierce bright flame that rises hot and crackling, and melts even the hardest of barriers that guard our innermost desires ...

Or is it that slow burn in the cockles of a heart that learns to appreciate what makes somebody so utterly special that they become incandescent forever in the crucible of your soul.

Either way love for me is a relationship on fire. Whether it burns out quickly or lasts a lifetime depends on the quality of the souls that come together. Whether they combust like gasoline into a raging torrent that destroys everything they touch or they become like coals that glow deep inside themselves and remain unquenchable even after those first sparks that set them alight is gone ...

Love!!! One way or the other it will destroy your heart and turn your relationships to ashes, or make it a warmer place for all. And if love has never set your heart alight, it will remain as cold as the dawn of a winter sky.

But to those who understand that love is also a covenant, something that is kindled by soul to soul, from parent to child ... they will realize that love is also a covenant so sacred that they may even have to give up their lives to keep this fire burning on in those they have cherished and consecrated with the purity of their love.

So here's to St. Valentine who was martyred to death for bringing lovers together for life.

Have you walked on the stones of years?
When you speak, is it you that hears?
Are your ears full?

You can't hear anything at all

From Tarkus by ELP

Friendships ...

“I am looking for friends. What does that mean -- tame?" "It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish ties." "To establish ties?" "Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world....” - from the book "The little prince" at times like this, when birthdays come and go, and you once again realize that there are friends who are miles away, who are still very close to your heart, and there are friends right here who have grown further and further apart ... and you wonder why ... then for me at least I wonder aloud is it me have I changed so much that some relationships no longer have the same weight in my memories, or is it them that they have learned to find new friends that matter more ... is it that friends come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn, as we are led to those who will help us to grow, if we let them ... and help them in turn. But whatever may be the reasons for the distance or the intimacy, I'm grateful for the moments where we can find reasons to connect again even if it's only for the fleeting space of a Facebook post. And I learn once again the truth that what you invest is what will be returned, in attention, in understanding, in affection and in kind ... after all this is the essence of learning to love and being loved isn't it? To all my friends, good eggs all despite how cracked you may be now and then :)

Stranger encounters of the Close kind

AAt the local Meet Market, they were making the single mingle. In a local pub somewhere north of St. Clair on Yonge @ 7PM, one Thursday evening.

And this is the story of how a Guy meets Girl at these speed dating events. First everybody gets name tags. They circulate. Chat. Wear their eyes out looking all around. Right after Girls are asked to sit at numbered tables. Guys are then told to rotate ten tables based on their alphabets. A goes to table 1, B to table 2. Five minutes with each person. And then clockwise to the next table. Until they reach the tenth and last woman in waiting ... Organizers watch the clock. And ring the bell for the next round.

This really happened. At my second table. In the pages of my unblemished past when I lived as an Urban Monk. Living in the world I had renounced. Celibate. and ready to share an opinion with a stranger for the chance of keeping my distance without leaving them behind ....

He "So tell me something about myself"
She "But I just met you"
He "Yes, and you were hoping for somebody else weren't you?"
She ... looks at me, looks away, laughs nervously
He ... waits
She "Okay, I get it ... you're here to meet people. So am I. is this your first time"
He "Doesn't matter. I know why you came here though"
She "Why?"
He "Because you were sure that you wouldn't know anybody else here"
She "What makes you say that?"
He "Speed dating is marketed at people who'd rather go shopping than hunting"
She "Hahaha that's funny. I do like shopping aisles ....
She ... but seriously it's a numbers game isn't it. In an hour you get to meet ten people ... "
He "But you're not getting ten choices are you? ...

She ... "Umm yes, You get to rate each person. They get to do the same. Yes it's only if we have a match we get a choice"

She smiles wryly ... "You're right"

She "So what are our chances then?
He "It all depends on what the other person remembers ... after this is all over ..."
She nods and smiles in agreement ... "How do we make sure the person we really want remembers us?"
He "Well if you package yourself right, the shopper will check out the merchandise ..."

He "But really selling relationships is not your thing is it ..."
She blushes ... but remembers to smile "Why do you say that?"
He "Because what a person is willing to talk about tells you the kind of risks they will take you know ..."
She "Really? What makes you think it's that easy?"

He "Bah forget all this philosophical theories ... let's do a test you and me, and see if I know what I'm talking about" ...
He "If I tell you which of the ten guys here is going to be your #1 choice, will you be willing to buy me a drink?"
She giggles ...
He "Okay write the name of the person down on your slip, and I'll write the name on my slip"
She nods looks at me sees me watching her unblinkingly ... breaks eye contact, nervously looks around ... writes
He looks at her ... when she's finished he writes on his paper ... they exchange papers.

She gasps "But how?"
He " ... but first the drink no?"
She "Okay now?"
He "No after, I'll go up to the bar, point at you, and you can nod yes ... that way you can continue to stay here"
She "Sure, okay tell me"

He "When a woman is attracted to a guy, she tries to make eye contact yes?"
She "I guess ...." He waits and then gives a knowing grin. She's nervous now "Yes"

She "Okay but I didn't try to make eye contact"

He "Well, the second thing a woman does when they're attracted is to figure out how to make the first move yes?"
She gasps ... "I don't know"
He "You know what's the first thing I did when they told us we'd be doing the rounds?" She "What?"
He "I figured out who'd be my first, second, third ... etc"
She "Why?"
He "That way I can give myself a minute to check the other person out before I make my way over"

She "And ..."
He "If I'm their first choice they'd be sure to make eye contact, because they automatically look around for the guy they were interested in the first place to see if they're next"

She "How can you be sure of that?"
He "Like I said ... eye contact" grins
She "That was it ... you looked at who I was looking at and you figured it out"
He "No, I couldn't see who you were looking for ... as people were milling around"
She "Then how"
He "my initial questions, they unsettled you ... you looked away ... you looked for him again"
She "No, I did not ..."
He "Not consciously but you couldn't resist seeing who he ended up with ...."
She shakes head kind of ruefully "Hey you seem to know a lot about women"
He "Not in general no, but if you had been interested in me I could have told you a lot about you" grins
She "I'm not so sure you are interested in me either ... but hey return the favor who are you interested in?"

He "Do you really want to buy me another drink?"

Top seven tips for

travel adventures

1. Get travel insurance. I used www.worldnomads.com and got for about just over 100$ medical (over a million dollars plus half a million for transportation back home), lost baggage coverage 2.5K, trip cancellation (1K), and about 10K in life insurance coverage. This is the most important thing to travel worry free.

2. Travel door to door. Use www.busabout.com for Europe, www.bazbus.com for South Africa (Note door to door option only works for backpackers and some hotels. Check first). For about 500$ (this was in 2007 so do check) you can go from Joburg to Cape Town via Drakensburg and then through the Garden route. Ditto for Europe. Go from Paris all the way around to Barcelona for about a 1000$ through 20 plus different cities in seven to eight different countries (about thirty days if you're in a hurry. Recommend six weeks though). However do note while it might be possible to do this cheaper, but it will take a lot more organizing and planning. Here it's just a pass you buy, and phone calls you make from your hostels to get picked up. No worries. No hassles. The other great thing is that as people hop on you get to make friends in the bus, and learn about places they've been to etc. Note there is a similar option for Australia, but distances are quite far and hence prices are not that cheap, and also some of the locations are remote so you'll have to pay your bus company to organize food/lodging. It will therefore cost about 2K to go clockwise around the country from Cairns to Alice Springs using say www.ozexperience.com. However it is possible to do this cheaper and better. Use http://www.premierms.com.au/newhome/home.asp for a less flexible option but it's also a lot lot cheaper only about 400$ from say Melbourne all the way up to Cairns. Greyhound has a by the kilometer option as well which can be useful ... Also do check out discount airlines and Western Australia passes by Qantas etc. They have some really good deals. Year before last I flew to Sydney and from there to Perth, Adelaide, Melbourne and back to Toronto for about 2K Canadian. There's also some amazing fares from Perth/Sydney etc to Singapore/Bali/Thailand etc and vice versa.

3. Go local. Staying with locals can be exhilarating or weird depending upon YOUR attitudes and personality. Help with the dishes, pay for the groceries, use the bathrooms carefully, speak softly and pleasantly, be easy going, observe/ask cultural boundaries/house ruls and stay focused on your host(s) while staying. There are many ways to do this. I have a list of places to call and arrange this for countries such as Netherlands, Belgium, France, Italy etc that I picked up during my travels and can email to those interested in using them. Use bar referrals, or check with local convents, monasteries etc to find your own places. Look for homestays, farmstays, teaching English options etc if you are planning on a bit of a long term stay. France esp. has a grape picking season where you can stay and get fed if you're willing to work really hard for a few days. It's worth trying once :) Goto http://www.pickingjobs.com/ to find a job and arrange your stay.

4. Wear a bag. Get Scott eVest pullovers, windbreakers, Shirt/Pant shorts. You'll never stop thanking me for this tip as it helps you wear your kindle/netbook, cameras, and a whole lot of other things while looking stylish and cool. Check out www.scottevest.com. Highly recommended

5. Get travel friendly clothes/gear. Tom Bihn Aeronaut + packing cubes, Quick dry underwears from Ex Officio (and also their Insect repellent/wrinkfle free/quick dry clothes, and a great travel hat), Quick dry socks from Tilley, a Steripen kit for water sterilisation, a silk sleep sack, a quick drying microfibre towel, a combination travel alarm clock/timer/flashlight/world time, dual voltage travel iron/steamer, electric adapters for the country you're visiting etc are a must have for the backpacker. Check out www.exofficio.com or www.travelessentials.com or www.travelsmith.oom etc for ideas and catalogs, but consider using amazon.com as they usually have better prices and shipping options.

6. Research ahead but stay flexible. Use Lonely Planet for doing the hard grind months ahead as they have the most detailed coverage. I tend to use Rough Guides for my initial read as they are more fascinating in their coverage of history/culture etc, and then follow it up with Lonely Planet for the more detailed planning as required (or if required). A related tip is get a Kindle if you're planning on doing a lot of travelling. It's easier to carry Lonely Planet guides in a Kindle than lugging ten pounds worth as you backpack from Japan through to Cambodia. Also don't get too hung up on plans/itineraries. That's why busabout etc are such a boon. You can always change plans last minute without having to worry about non refundable air tickets etc. And remember the most important thing to research are the local beers, the local festivals, the local day passes/discount cards, local bus/transit options, bicycle rent places etc.

7. Eat local. You'll save so much money and have so much fun doing this. Use your commonsense in picking places. Get a phrasebook and/or some practice on local phrases before you head out so you can ask around. Makes the trip sooooo much better if you can ask and get basic information from locals. Also really opens up a world of options if you have basic conversational skills. Okay now do pack your basic medicine kit/bag with anti-diorheaa pills etc just in case you're prone to stomach upsets etc ... Worst case scenario, you'll lose a couple of days :) I use www.chowhound.com and local websites to find places and/or exchange information with locals on their boards.

Also don't forget every place you visit will have local free rags that you can use to pick up events happening around. But the best place to find good local options is to go to the bar where the locals hang out and buy a few pints and chat them up. That's where a few local phrases help break the ice. Of course it helps if you're charismatic enough to have the locals come up and invite you over to their place :)