Been there ... done that?

Cooking or keeping a house clean can be a bit daunting ... esp. if you have had no experience or mentoring in the usual survival skills. Cook books have recipes but no tips on how to clean stains, remove odors, etc ... here's some stuff I've gathered over the years. And there's no such book as living the single life - how to survive the lonely years ...

but to begin at the beginning ... All this started because I wrote a recipe for a friend and in the process had to dig through my old books where I'd gathered a few tips ... I have a whole notebook full of home made remedies from a cold to cancer ... no I'm not kidding, mostly from email forwards. But the ones below are all from experience ... yeah been there and done them :)

First things first. Don't have a dishwasher? No worries. Use a sponge.

How do you clean a sponge? Put it in the microwave for a minute and a half. That should kill all the bacteria.

For my microfibre cleaning cloths, I regularly boil them with some vinegar and baking soda (watch out for the foaming). This keeps them clean and bacteria free and smelling fresh.

To wipe down your kitchen use a mixture of vinegar and water for countertops, rubbing alcohol for your frig/metal surfaces.

Eggs for breakfast? They taste so much nicer if you cooked them at room temperature.

How do you bring your eggs to room temperature? Simple. Leave them in lukewarm water for five minutes.

How do you know fresh eggs from stale? Put the egg in a glass of water. If it tips up or floats it's stale. The further down it sits the fresher it is.

Like green tea? How much tea for a cup? A Tea spoon ... see the word tea in front of spoon?

And don't grind your coffee until you're ready to brew it. The oils that give it the taste evaporate quickly and you lose that subtle flavors that make all the difference.

How do you clean your coffee/spice grinder? Put in some breadcrumbs. Turn it on and it should absorb all the leftover coffee grinds/spices and then wipe it out. Clean!

How do you remove nasty smells when cooking say fried food? Best thing is to burn a beeswax candle. But that's expensive. I mean you could burn the regular candles but those are environmentally unfriendly and bad for you ... Cheaper option is to use a small shallow bowl of vinegar right next to the cooking dish.

How to remove the fresh paint smell in a new apartment. Same thing. Use bowls of vinegar around the place and voila no smell a few hours later.

Guests just landed up? No beer in the fridge? How do you quickly chill a few bottles of beer? Easy. Put the beers in your icebox / bowl. Pour ice over the bottles. Pour some water over the ice. Sprinkle some salt all over. Wait three to five minutes and voila really chilled beers ready to serve.

To pour really fizzy beer, open the beer, put the glass on top of it. Invert the glass with the bottle in it and slowly pull the bottle up releasing the beer.

Want to soften butter in a hurry? Yeah microwaves suck at that ... just take the butter and beat it to death using a rolling pin. Scrape it back into you butter bowl and voila soft and easy to spread butter.

One really weird tip ... Was in Acapulco once staying at the Acapulco Princess and having lunch on an open but roofed porch at their resort next door ... however no flies. All around the porch hanging from the rafters were small plastic bags filled a quarter with plain water. No idea why this works but it sure kept all the flies away.

To remove stuck rice/pasta add some vinegar, water, dish washing soap and bring it all to a boil. Voila unstuck rice / pasta. All you need now is a wipe for that clean shine.

To remove stuck stuff in a cast iron pan, sprinkle salt and use it's abrasiveness to remove all the stuck bits. Clean out with water afterwards but don't forget to heat it right after to make sure the water doesn't rust it. To season the pan rub in some peanut oil or some lard and bake it in the oven for an hour every other week or so.

To peel ginger use a spoon. Easier to get around all the knobby edges.

To cut root vegetables. Slam a fork into the middle and peel away. No more cut knuckles :)

To cut onions without crying, chill your onions in the fridge before cutting them. Also get one of those small fans and have it blow away the fumes. Really works when you have a lot of cutting to do (Us Indians really need this tip).

To mellow raw onions ... chop them up, sprinkle them with salt, and wash it out with ice water. If you have more time ... leaving cut onions in ice water for an hour makes them taste amazing in salads.

Want soft tender meat? Use Dr. Pepper to braise it. Amazing as a tenderizer.

Love cooking with spices? Buy them whole and grate / grin them just before use. So much tastier.

Roasted eggplant is amazing especially in middle eastern dishes like baba ganoush. Easy way to do it. Slice them in half lengthwise and stick it under the broiler cut side down. The skin protects the eggplant and you can scoop out the flesh easy.

To remove the slightly bitter taste sprinkle salt on the cut side. Leave it for twenty mins or so, and was the salt off before you cook the eggplant. Rubbing the cut side with olive oil before roasting adds another dimension to it's flavor.

Diabetic? Or just prefer something healthier than sugar ... So am I ... use Agave nectar instead of sugar. Low glycemic yet tasty.

Want to remove the garlic, onion smells from your hands after you're done cutting them? Use salt or sugar with some baking soda to make a paste and rub it over your hands and rinse it off. Coffee grinds work real well too but then you're left with coffee smell which for some strange reason some women seem to find attractive ... in which case i recommend you go out and get Thierry Mugler's A-Men cologne as that makes that same women I was talking about go absolutely nuts. Remember to use it in small quantities.

If you want a really good air freshener go out and get some Lampe Berger. It's the best air freshener I've ever used.

To remove wine stains use a mixture of teaspoon of dish soap with hydrogen peroxide

To remove food stains use lemon juice with some salt. Always test on a corner first to make sure it won't remove the color. Baking soda works well too for a lot of old stains as well but it can also remove the color so careful there. I've removed blood stains (mine) with spit surprisingly. Oh for blood stains use cool water never warm or hot.

Only one toilet. And houseguests waiting in line? Phew it can get smelly in there ... Air fresheners just make it worse. That's why you need matches. Light one or two up and it burns off all those sulphury smells and voila fresh smelling bathroom in an instant. I got this tip off an autobiography by David Ogilvy the advertising genius.